Grandfather

I had a dream last night, about my maternal grandfather. He needed a part made, and I was making it for him, and we talked, like men do. I was my current age, and he was perhaps about ten years before he died. He gave me advice, spoke to me honestly and seemed to be genuinely interested in me.

Things he never was in life.

Now, all you closet psychoanalysts out there, what do you think that means???

Puerto Vallarta

My fiancee and I are going to Puerto Vallarta, anyone have any suggestions of things we should try while we are there?

S&T, part, the second

So, funny story, a few years back I applied for a job that was advertised as an S&T job. I was interviewed by a panel and did not get the position...

After the interview, I asked for feedback so I could do better the next time. Their feedback was that they saw me as more of an Administrative leader than as an S&T type person.

Okay, cool, thanks for the feedback, now I know what types of jobs to look for at that location, right?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, Nope, wrong answer!

Tried for those types of jobs 7 times.

requested feedback in all instances after being told, NO.

Only was given feedback 2 times, was completely ignored the other 5 times.

Regardless of my asking multiple times when no feedback was ever forthcoming.

Met with (former, been re-orged since then) Admin Boss who said, "What???? No, you should not be trying for Branch Head!!! You are an S&T type!"

Well, that explains my repeated failures, he has been telling people that and not supportive of my desires. Got it.

Depression and Work

I have been very depressed over the last year... I was working on a project where I gave my heart and soul... but it was full of micro-managers who didn't give a damn about how hard I worked or how good the product was, they couldn't care less about the 'requirements' or 'schedule', they just were always setting fires (themselves, or their managers) then running around without a plan, trying to put out the fires... I guess they were incentivized to look busy. One manager, he usually got in about 7:30 am, so I made a point of getting in by 7 so I could be at my desk, working, when he showed up. I'd stay until 5, bring lunch and eat it while on telecons. Strictly forbidden from working overtime. When I'd leave for the day, he'd have already left... Anyway. I quit that project with hard feelings between me and them, though on some occasions since then they have asked for my help. The final straw came when subcontractors to ME were being ordered about by THEM... strictly illegal stuff. I reminded them, through proper channels, that this was illegal and that they should not do such. They continued. It came to a head when one of them shortened a deadline by 50%, then, when I was out of the office, told my contractor who was working that issue to cease, and that he was 'not allowed' to work it. So, I told that person, they were NOT allowed to direct my contractors. the contract was not through them, thus their attempts at direction were illegal (it's complicated).

So, for the last year or so, I have been severely depressed. My Administrative manager had been very understanding and allowed me to go negative in my leave... (yeah, he could do that or give me admin leave, and I asked to go negative because I didn't want them giving me any benefit that everyone else doesn't get... sue me for being a stupid asshole).

Now we have re-orged. I have a new administrative manager. She sees my negative leave balance and freaks out. Tomorrow I have a meeting with her to 'discuss' (though she is VERY MUCH one way only, she speaks, you listen, so the use of the word, 'discus' I do not understand).

I expect bad news.

Very down. Very depressed. Work seems pointless. They keep giving me jobs I have no idea how to do, have never done, then being surprised when I have trouble doing them, perfectly (or even 80%) the first time, by their ridiculous deadlines (example of ridiculous deadline, She (current admin boss) came to me and told me I was going to do "X", I said, I have never done "X", never used that software, don't have access to that network. She said, don't worry, you have until Feb/Mar to figure it out. I said, okay. I will give it my best. I met with the team two days later, they told me it was due end of Dec. I didn't get access to the software/network until Nov. This is stupid!)

But I need the money, until I hit the lottery. Or die. FYI, last week I had another death in my family, new Admin Boss would not give me bereavement leave.

Awesome. I feel the love.

My job

Today I had a long discussion with my Branch Head. Surprisingly enough, previous Branch Heads and my previous Division Head (Branch Head reports to Division Head, reports to Department Head...) had all recommended that I pursue a Branch Head position myself. This Branch Head, the current one (it will change on Oct 1st to another person) was surprised to hear that. He told me he saw me more as an S&T (Science and Technology) guy himself and had never considered me 'branch head material'.

Lovely. So, for the past couple of years I have been working toward a goal that this Branch Head does not support for me, but he never told me... his Division Head supported it and she never discussed it with him. Just me. So... Wasted 2 years of work on something because I stupidly thought that my Division Head, Former Branch Head, and Branch Head might have discussed my career... seeing as how I had asked all of them about this over the last two years and today this one all of the sudden has not one clue that that was my career aspiration!

and they wonder why I feel that this job is a dead end for me.

S&T

A few years back I had a bad experience... Silly me, chastise me in the comments if you wish!

You see, I had this idea for making Navy S&T at my base more cost efficient, saving money and getting more capability... at no extra cost. Anyway, this one Chief Engineer there rained all over my parade. This has happened a LOT since I have been there and this time I just said, fuck it. Screw them, I am not going to try any more. I mean, I had done all the background work and everything only to have this asshole not even listen to my argument, look at the numbers or hear what experts in that field had to say (yes, I had experts lined up to talk about it during my presentation!)

So... Today I get an invite from the just about chief honcho of S&T at the base. He is inviting me to sit on a panel. Well, not ME, me and a bunch of other guys... Including the aforementioned asshole, er, I mean, Chief Engineer.

As part of my plan to turn myself around, I accepted the invite, rather than declining it as I have been doing since that camel broke the straw's back.

Maybe I can get back into the swing of things, or at least feel (once again) like a valuable S&T contributor.

Yeah, my main project values me and expresses it by giving me more and more work, but... I would also like to be seen as an S&T guy.

Outward Bound

I did the Colorado Outward Bound Course in the summer of 1976. It was the entire month of July for me. It was the first and best adventure of my life... I recommend it to everyone.

A little background: Back in WWII the British discovered that about 95% of people on a ship that was sunk died. Of those that survived, if they were on a ship that sank after their first experience, about 95% of the time they lived. Thus they drew the conclusion that it was having had the experience of surviving that made people KNOW they could survive!

SO Outward Bound began, to take you past the barrier of not knowing to the area of knowing you can. That is an interesting idea, you think you can't, so you die. You think you can, and you LIVE. Not because you will live, but because you lived the last time, so you BELIEVE you will and you then DO!

If you can attend an Outward Bound Course, do it. If you have kids, send them to one as young as possible. It changed my life, it will change yours, or theirs.

Racism

Back when I was a young teen, 13 or 14 or so, this was about 1973 or 1974 maybe, I was grocery shopping with my grandfather. Maybe he was 68 or so. We were in the Kroger in Frankfurt, KY, in the produce section and he was looking over the veggies. An older black man was down the other end of the veggies, checking them out also and as the two older men got closer together my grandfather asked the other, similarly aged man, "Hey, Boy, do you see anything you'd consider buying?" or something very close to that. I was raised in the north. In Massachusetts. So, I immediately chided my grandfather for calling a man, "boy" and told him that that was a racial slur and that he should never say such things as that. My grandfather said nothing, but the black man immediately told me that I had no right to say such a thing to men of his and my grandfathers age. That I should respect my elders and never try to correct them, that he had been fighting racism his whole life and he'd be damned if someone was going to step in for him, he'd fight his own damn battles. And he apologized to my grandfather for my poor behavior and told him that clearly my parents hadn't raised me properly. y father died before I was 3 so I can't say he 'raised' me. My mom, she was always working or in school... so I can't say she 'raised' me. Basically I can just say, it's my fault. I guess it is all my fault. I read this post the other day, it's good, I recommend it! http://gawker.com/i-used-to-hate-white-people-1714746295

Luck and success

My brother always says that people who aren't at least as successful as he has been are stupid. He completely disregards the luck he has had, the role chance has played in his life. 

On the other hand, Mark Walburg took his children to his old neighborhood of Dorchester, so that he could both show and tell them that many people aren't as lucky as they have been.

Sure, for most people success means hard work and luck. One you can control, the other you can't. You can't control the family you are born into. You never know when a chance meeting will provide you the right job opportunity. You never know.

And these days you can get a straight 4.0 grade point average, but when you apply to Harvard or Stanford, you're one of 4000 people with straight 4.0 GPA's all trying to get the same 4 full scholarships. 

So, what's my point? 

Simple never look down on those less fortunate than you, remember, hard work alone is almost never enough. Thank your God ( if you are religious) or the luck you have had and be grateful. Help others whenever you can. 

How to be successful!

I wish someone had told me this!

My parental figures always just told me I could not do this, I could not do that, don't even waste your time. When they bothered to notice my existence at all (other than yelling at me to do chores).

Here's the deal: you can do anything you want in life!

Want to be an astronaut? That's easy. Starting as young as possible, study science and math. Work hard, be athletic and play sports. In middle school, make sure you work harder than anyone else in understanding math and science! In high school, not only should you work hard at math and science, but also, write a thoughtful letter to your congressmen asking to get an appointment to either the Naval Academy or the Air Force Academy. You should write that letter your freshmen or sophomore year. Tell them that you want to be an officer in the US Military. Tell them about all your honors (honor student, science fairs, sports you play) Join JROTC if that is available at your high school.

(for more information, write me in the comments and I will reply)

Want to be a professional football player? Start playing young, as young as possible, play hard, practice hard, play in every level in school. Watch how pro players speak, note how they react to the media, how they talk about their team and the games they have played. Remember, there are only a few thousand pro football players in the USA, so maybe you should understand that even if you are the best at your high school, there are many high schools in your state, and many nation wide... so the odds are better that you might become a pro outside the USA...

Want to be a Lawyer? Doctor? Engineer? You can do it! I will show you the path you have to take, anything worth having requires work to get... the only people that don't have to work hard to get into these things are the people who's parents already are doing it and who are already well-known... if you aren't one of them, and chances are good you are not, then you will have to decide how bad you want it, and then WORK HARD to do it. But YOU CAN DO IT!

comment below for help