More on my personal misery

So, it is another sleepless night, wondering why the gal I love doesn't love me... I mean, 11 years of her telling me how much she couldn't live with out me, 11 years of her cuddling with me, 11 years of her reaching over to take my hand, toying with the hairs on the back of my neck, falling asleep on my shoulder while watching tv, 11 years of Patricia telling me how much she loved me every day... Done, over gone in a heartbeat.

So, why am I upset you say? I mean, move on, get over it. I hear that crap all the time, then I look at the idiot saying that and ask if they are married, in love, whatever... and for how long. Then I ask them, okay, tonight you get home and your significant other tells you, "I don't love you any more." and they mean it. So tell me smart person giving advice, how will you take it?

For me, 11 years is 1/3rd of my adult life. For me 11 years is about 1/4th of my entire life. And all that time my love was always focused on this one gal... One how was always telling me how we were going to grow old together... One who ALWAYS told me how she would not be like the other gals in my life, and thus would never dump me. One who always told me I would dump her long before she would ever dump me... So, was I ready for this?

So, to those people that keep telling me to 'move one' grow the fuck up. Real feelings mean real pain. If I could get over it, in virtually no time, then obviously I didn't really have any real feelings to start with.

Well, I did have feelings. I do have feelings. And All I Feel Is Pain.