The first girl I ever kissed died in June

My senior year, shortly before graduation, I was invited to a party... I was surprised as the people in the party were all the really, really smart kids and I had never hung out with them... but for some reason the gal throwing the party invited me. While there I started talking with this one gal, Annette, and well, we went outside for quiet, then walked a little, holding hands, then sat on the front porch kissing a lot. That summer we spent all of our free time together and never got beyond kissing... Well, we did, but that was years later and another story, not important to this one... Anyway, I always wished I could have made it work with Annette, that is why years later I hooked up with her again, to try again. I just discovered that she died in June. I don't know why, but her obit is on the web. I hate that. I hate that a beautiful lady from my past is dead. There are so many people from my past that are dead now, it really, really saddens me. I am an atheist. BUT, I hope there is an afterlife where I can meet them all again. I do. I want to apologize to some, to say the words I never got to say in life to others... I just hate it that wonderful people die and I, a complete asshole, linger on.

So, Annette, if you are out there somewhere, I am sorry you are dead, you should be alive now. You were so nice. I know we never loved one another, we just really, really liked each other, sometimes, but, well, that doesn't matter... My depth of feeling was such that I thought about you often. As I do with many people.

So, whomever reads this, how do you feel when you discover someone from your past has died? Answer in the comments please. Thank you