Mistakes

So, I left the military almost exactly 30 years ago, right now...

And for almost exactly 30 years I’ve been having dreams/nightmares about trying to become a soldier again.

I was medically discharged due to a knee problem that I developed while I was a soldier, a permanent condition that I got, called Pigmented Villonodular Synovitis. After 2 unsuccessful surgeries to remove it, the Army decided to make me a civilian.

And for all these years I have wished I was still a soldier and in my dreams I have tried to become one again.

I wish I could have stayed in, but that was not within my control.

I wonder what mistake I made to contract this life changing disease?